What has he lost? Perhaps it is not what he has lost but what is still there? A golden light so deep inside that it is untouched and eternal, yet divinely polished by time and experience. 

He left it all behind and chose the path of renunciation. He walked down a path then up, falling down into confusion before rising up into vision. Paying close attention, one would notice, he was akin to a buddha.

He hadn’t used money in a long time. He walked into town every Sunday to volunteer at the food bank and then fortunately he was able to pick and choose foods for the week ahead. In the past, when he did use money, he would never buy animal products, but if he got it for free, that was his choice. Sometimes he’d fill his backpack with those wrapped burritos that were donated and pass them out to the homeless folks that camped under the over pass on Lombard st. near the tracks. It was on the way to his place which was closer to the river up over the hill and in the nook of woods by the golf course. 

He sat eating a piece of salmon with brie and french bread, not that bad for free. While watching the wind express itself over the surface of the water, his ma came to mind. He hadn’t seen her in many years. She didn’t talk with him anymore. She didn’t know that he had healed and was in recovery… hadn’t had a drink, or smoke, or used in 10 years, but like the story said he went down before he went up. 

He was overlooking The Chinook River. His favorite sanctuary spot was in this tight bend that curved like a woman. There were ducks boating along, and  cedar waxwings in the willows across the way. A kingfisher dove into the water creating concentric circles rippling out from the point ofd contact.

He loved this spot. It was a place of paradise. There was a chance that He’d get kicked out by the territorial grumps that would tell him he had to move along. It really didn’t bother him. He would just move along. But today, in the sweet space of nature satiated by that which is free, he felt a peace and serenity that comes from the essence of surrender.