It was the year 2003 when I came to the revelation that I wanted to devote my life to the health and well-being of animals. It was the ending of one story with the man who fathered my children, a failed fairytale of being homesteaders on a piece of land with garden, fruit trees, chickens, and goats. The animals in this story were loved and cared for, but also set into a paradigm of product and ownership. I cared for a herd of twelve goats. I milked four of them and made cheese weekly, selling what their bodies made for their babies for small change. I loved these goats, and in the situation that we were all in, we did our very best. They had lots of space. They were well taken care of, but they were in pens at night, separated from their babies, on scheduled feedings. It was not natural. But what is when humans are involved? 

Although we humans have such an incredible reverence for life and capacity for compassionate action, we also disgrace life for efficiency, gluttony, and selfish gain. Once, I raised ‘meat’ birds, chickens bred to rapidly grow huge for the purpose of human consumption. Once, I did this, only once. I raised them. I killed them by slitting their throats. I plucked their feathers off their bodies and froze the carcasses in my freezer. I could not eat them. I could not see the product, only the chicken that once lived. I could not swallow this story anymore. 

I recognize that the world is how it is, but in many cases, the world is not how it is meant to be. There are karmas lingering due to the actions of the human race. We must accept that we need to step away from the way things are and investigate the relationship that exists now. Domesticated animals are in relationship with us due to us making that so. It is our duty to take care of them. I believe that a symbiotic, mutually beneficial relationship can be found between humans and (domesticated) animals.

I remember the moment back in 2003 when a thought was born, a spark of union between concept and form; the sperm and the egg conjoined and the cells began to multiply: sanctuary. It was to be a word that slipped from my mouth, from my heart into the world over and over again. That heart would break millions of times over and the light would shine through those shattered cracks with more courage daily, for thousands of days. And I always knew to never hold too tightly onto a picture of what I thought I wanted or what I thought my future looked like. I painted the picture in an ocean, in the ever changing sky, in the vast Universe of my dreams while I slept, in the words that spilled onto biodegradable paper in flimsy journals making sure that nothing was too solid so that my partner in all of this, that star I did not know I was following, could have influence upon this new story. 

And then I went to Thailand to meet the elephants.

…to be continued