Calibration
Waking in the dark morning, eyes half opened, I gaze into the shadowed light filtering in and across the wood slats and glass fixtures that hang from my ceiling. This soft light that is only found in quiet places resides in memories, such as my grandma’s house that lived amongst ancient oak trees, or of walking through dense stands of cedar and fir in the olympic rainforest. This soft subtle light is the voice of my soul always whispering to me, yet I often cannot hear. Today my ears are open.
I follow my breath into my body and encourage that sense of fullness to linger. When the exhale begins my attention settles into my collarbones as they sink down and down in a forever kind of way to the bottom of that vast ocean that lives within me. And then the tide changes and breath flows in again. Following my breath here and now awakens me to every moment I have ever breathed. There is a comfort there and I sense my whole nervous system settle into the coziest chair; that familiar forever feeling.
This sense of peace I speak of has come about due to many actions taken prior to this moment, like taking a bath before bed, eating well, taking my vitamins, not drinking alcohol, meditating often. I am so very grateful for the opportunity, the time, and the privilege to cultivate this equilibrium throughout the day.
This year has humbled me in a multitude of ways. My eyes have been opened, doors have been closed, perspectives changed, stories have ended, innovation has been essential, devotion has grown, identity has been dismantled and deeper service found.
I am no longer who I was and I am still becoming who I am, hoping these words resonate with you. We are all here together. Every morning that I wake I get another chance to remember that. And although I enter the world swimming in action and reaction, relationship and alchemy, seeking a path that is worthy of this life that lives through me, it is important for me to remember that I am not responsible for the whole world. I am responsible for me and how I choose to be.
I try to see myself in everyone’s eyes; human, animal, tree…this whole green earth. I am dedicated to being in love with all my relations whether they are hard or easy and I practice being grateful all damn day. It is vital to be aware of how I affect others. How I devote myself to living is an integral ingredient that makes up the Life we all share.
My soul whispers to me in that dawning hint of light , “you are so lucky to have the opportunities you have. Always steep them in compassion. Be curious. Have faith. You are protected and in tune. You are here to help others. It is another day to fall in Love.”
That being said, I open my eyes fully and rise from that nest of a bed and meet the world.
May your life be blessed today and your presence on this earth be a gift to others.
Love, sweethome
