Journal entry
Taking account, Making plans, Being present
I flipped back in my journal to a month ago and without edit (well, actually, I had to edit a little bit, but I left it as authentic as I could,) I now place a moment in time here for your reading pleasure:
July 10th 2022 It’s been a weird 5 days. I was preparing to go on retreat with Ayahuasca for the very first time and instead I catch Covid and the next day, my volunteer accidentally poisons my goat.
We all survived 4 days of suffering and now it is 4 days until the volunteer leaves. Today, others will finish laying the floor down in the hut. And finally I will have the ability to clean up and invite in. I have a young man from the wwoof organization coming to stay for the fall. Hopefully… no, definitely, we can make this place glisten with abundance, healing, and good works.
I have been without vehicle for many months and I ask and intend to call a vehicle into my life that will be ideal for Casper and me, so we can travel to forests and fields, rivers and rocks.
I also ask and intend to have a sweet little trailer in the backyard by the Fig tree and the Apples, where a wwoofer can stay and help through next growing season. I ask and intend to have help building a composting toilet in the artistic style of cob and all natural materials.
I’ll be planting useful perennials soon, such as the goji berry and blueberries, a Maple… perhaps an Oak for comfort and shade. So grateful to the trees and the wisdom; slow down and rest under my shade, dear friend, listen to my quiet words.
I call a story in that needs to be written, one that will help. I raise my hand to answer that call. Yes, I am a willing participant. Use me, great spirit, like you use the rivers and the plains. Also, I will paint again. I will paint your striking poses, both the soft and harsh beauty.
I will be happy. I am happy now knowing I will be happy. Is this the magic of hope and imagination? My daughters will be happy…They are. So be it. And so it is. All will be well and all is well.
And with all of this I now let go of my desires, my dreams, my fears, and my hopes. I embrace this moment as it is.
